My Life.....

Leadership

2012-02-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

What is leadership?
definition :-

The action of leading a group of people or an organization.
The state or position of being a leader.

But what exactly are leaders? Those who gives orders? Those who think they are fighting for his/her underlings' best interest? Those who speaks for everyone? Those who are the loudest?

NO!

Leaders are not those who do not follow orders, leaders are not those who refuses to back down no matter what happens. Leaders are those who can lead others, even when they are without authority; those who can make things happen when all things seem glum; those who are not afraid to take on responsibility and actually get their hands dirty working with their followers.

Leaders must first learn to listen, to follow instructions, but not follow them blindly, to listen to reason and evaluate the reason, to learn to accept other people's point of view when it proves better than their own.

Leaders are considerate, they don't bring inner squabbles to public eye. They try to solve matters without causing much commotion. They can back down and learn from their mistakes. They are the ones who expects the best out of their followers but expects more than that out of themselves. They are the one who can judge themselves continuously, thinking their actions through, be ready to admit mistakes, yet not be smug and contented with successes. They are the ones who are not afraid of being judged, who can accept other people's judgement on them and use it to improve themselves.

Charisma alone don't make you a leader although it's an added bonus. You may have charisma, you may have people who agree with you, that doesn't make you right, neither does it make you better than anyone. You may know how to talk, but the more you talk, the more it is reveal about your level of maturity and your attitude.

Leadership is not power, neither is it any high-ranking position. Leadership is an attitude. The humility; the willingness to shoulder responsibility though it wasn't yours to shoulder; the never-ending thirst for knowledge and experience and the list goes on and on.

What do we get from doing things that are not meant for us to do? What does a Treasurer get when he is doing Public Relations stuff? Nothing in return? No! He learns more about Public Relations than those who thinks they know PR. He gains experience that couldn't be written into books.

However, I doubt many people would care about experience right? Most people are only doing it for the certificate, the acknowledgement for things they did (did not do). Who cares about the responsibility? Who cares about the experience, it won't get you any scholarship, nor would it get you into university, all the scholarship bodies and universities care about is you on paper, your certs, and achievements... So why bother.. right? And you guys complain when this world is going towards hell... Please be aware that, those who made this world hell.. has attitudes just like all of you people.

RANT

2012-01-21T05:25:00.000-08:00

Some time ago, a teacher taught me to stop being so passive, to be active. I took his advice, and learned much from him and from my peers as we trotted into responsibility. We learned that when we do something, we have to thorough, to plan into details but to be prepared to have our plans go to waste as things take unexpected turn of events. Nevertheless, we must plan and plan and plan.

As I enter college, things started up seemingly well. Seemingly. A few months in, I learned to shrug of responsibility, to keep quiet, to fold my hands while watching disaster unfold. I witnessed how when a captain fails, everyone else do not contribute. Even so, somehow, projects seem to find us. I guess, while I jumped at such opportunity (as it's always a joint project, our burden is cut down by 50%), other committee members weren't really happy about it. This is because, somehow, I feel distant from them. While I suspect two are coupling and few of them are already going out for lunch, dinners together, I am not amongst them.

This year, club recruitment drive. Basically an event where clubs are required to promote their clubs. New students would usually inquire what does the club do, why do I join this club etc. It was an interesting way for us to face the truth. We had to create something up, conjured some false information. Fair enough.

On the day itself, though we received great responses. Many signed up with us. It can be said that we did a good job. However, tell me, to go up to a student and say directly 'it's good for your CV & resume/university application and a vague or no explanation on what we actually do', is that good? Whatever gets the job done I suppose.

Recruitment done. Our club blogs have been left there, outdated for months, our facebook page is pending to be archived and there's nothing we can do about it. What's more, we gave these two links to them as a way to receive updates from us. What would they think when they go there and see what's really happening? Instant drop in member activity.

Vice president says he would 'settle' the facebook page issue since that day. Till now, God knows what he has done. Members registration went to three digits, VPs announce a great start for a new year, celebrated another success. Honestly, we got so many members because of what our club's name stands for. Our club name by itself is an attraction for anyone who wishes to pursue a future in the medical field, if they had known how we were last year, HAHA, things may be different. Anyhow, it's a good start, to change things.

Yes, it's CNY holidays, festive seasons, take a chill pill bro~~ or busy with relatives having fun etc etc.. I've asked them once.. and I'll ask them over and over again.. If not during the holidays when we actually have free time to do these things in snippets over a long period of time, when? When we have classes which ends at 2-4pm with loads of homework, studies and your respective 'social activities' to take up most of our time? THINK!

Discussion on selection of new committee, when I requested that they evaluate which posts have we found to not need and which do we need. It was meant to come up with positions in the board that can function more efficiently using our experience. It ended up being taken as an insult. It's as if when we question whether the post of Vice Treasurer is required, we are questioning the Vice's abilities and contributions during his tender. A little laughter, misunderstanding, issue was shrugged of. Only a vague, lets combine IT Director with Publicity Director. Then matters pushed aside. Conclusion, issue has not been discussed at all.

Mechanism of interview. They wanted to copy what was done by our seniors. A messy 'sms-this-number-your-details' application method. A random sms from random number call for interview message. An interview. And a pointless mock meeting with three presidents more than 5 vice presidents and many more people for each different positions. Expectedly, those who talked and was reasonable were chosen. Got them to reconsider, proposed a framework, Vice president shrugged it off. Lots of work, little time. (whose fault was that? during holiday I requested for such matter to be discussed, it wasn't given any attention). Proposed method diluted to something. Not workable. Discussion. Discussion. Finally got other Vice President to see sense. Got proposal thru. Mechanism could work. What about details? Rough dates were set. Ok. Now, what do we want for applicants who apply for different posts? sure different right? Wasn't raised, not discussed. 4pm, I had to leave. Bus transport. Matters concluded. They celebrated another 'successful' interview. To me, it was a 'success' considering what we had in the past but no where near success. We still have lots of work to do.

A classmate asked me, why do I work so hard for a committee that doesn't even care, I told him, we are elected as committee, only we can propose and run activities for our members. Our members registered with us because they want exposure to the medical field, they want to learn more about it, to have something good to put in their university application. If there was a person like me, who had no prior involvement in any activities the universities were looking for, my fate would have been sealed by these people who clearly have acquired a track record of such 'achievements' to put in their university application. Their aspirations would have stopped right there.

However, credits must be given to some of the committee members, they do their best. I don't blame them for not being active, many aren't. With a weak president who doesn't care and two vice presidents who refrain from caring too much, there is little those people below can do. I am not in position to give any orders to anyone. I'm a mere vice treasurer and answer to the treasurer. If I had done anything to offend anyone or that I've not respected hierarchy, for going over my scope of power, I apologize.

New Year Revelation

2011-12-31T10:03:00.000-08:00

It's the dawn of a new year, 2012, here's an excerpt of my FB note, summed up what I've learned recently during the eclipse of 2011, about myself, and about others.

Our mouths speak of qualities of a doctor; our paperwork writes extensively on that subject matter as well. We claim that we have such qualities. However, I came to realize, we (myself included) were never close.

We scored our SPM, I guess that gave us confidence, so much confidence it made us forget that knowledge is ever-expanding, the more we learn, the more we don't know; we had became obnoxious of our success. Bitter we were during the national scholarship distribution fiasco. In our own minds, we are one of the best, our strings of A(s) are the testament of that, but... we were wrong.

After completing a 3 days hospital attachment, or what the hospital administration would refer to as a clinical observation posting. I came to realize, there are different types of doctors, those who are still humble and friendly, and those who have lost themselves in their knowledge and experience, making them seem obnoxious and mean. Throughout our 3 days posting, there was a few number of doctors and houseman we 'cling' on to, as they were kind enough to let us watch them perform procedures, and tried their best to explain to us pre-medical students about the procedure when they had the time. They even shared their experiences with us, there was a moment when we listened to a houseman talked about his experience for one whole hour (of course, there was not case at that time). It was insightful and interesting, we did not even realize the time.

I think I am starting to stray from the main topic. As what I was saying. From there I've realized these few things, the good qualities of a doctor, which could be applied to all of us in general are as follow:-

Humbled by knowledge, enlightened by experience;

Never boast, nor think high of oneself;

Though others may know little,

may have experienced less;

Never are they inferior than you.

Be humble, and open are our minds to new ideas, insights and knowledge; Accept criticism, as it gives us an alternate image of ourselves...

Revelations

2011-12-27T07:36:00.001-08:00

Lest my memory fades in face of overwhelming pressure of recording new events that may occur in the future, this event, in my humble opinion, is worth spending time detailing on.

In recent days I have undergone a 3 days Hospital Attachment (or what the hospital administration prefer to call 'Clinical Observation Posting') in University Malaya Medical Centre (UMMC).

Part 1 : Requesting for Attachment

Ever since the UCAS briefing from MABECS in my college earlier this year, stressing the much needed advantage for those who have undergone clinical/hospital attachments for students aspiring to get into medical schools abroad (in this specific talk universities in UK in particular), many aspiring students have since applied for hospital attachments all over the place. During June, when I tried to apply, it is revealed that placings were already fully occupied for the year in private hospitals such as the Sime Darby Medical Centre (formerly known as Subang Jaya Medical Centre (SJMC)) and several government hospitals. Furthermore, I was unclear of the procedure for the application, and was even the more unclear of what I want to pursue in the future, so I missed that window of opportunity.

The next 'free time' I have for an attachment was during my year end break, by then, I was already 80% sure that medicine was my intended career choice, the other 20% lies in engineering, a tempting field, truly. Thus, I applied for an attachment to get an idea of what entails when in the medical line.

Called several hospitals. As expected, private hospitals have their attachment 'slots' fully occupied; government hospitals on the other hand, most only offer attachments for medical students (for their elective postings) and not pre-medical students like us A levels students. Luckily, UMMC might allow attachments for pre-medical students and I have a friend who were kind enough to help me hand in my request letter along with her's through a houseman currently posted in UMMC. Thanks to her and the houseman's help, our application was approved and we've got an attachment in the Emergency and Trauma Unit of UMMC from the 21 till the 23 of December.

Attachment Day 1

Dress code during attachment : formal/semi-formal, essentially, a button shirt and formal long pants (embarrassingly, i don't know the term for that, care to tell?)

Arrived at Emergency and Trauma Unit building at 8.00am, met up with friend, then went up to Jabatan Latihan for briefing and 'registration'.

Turns out there are 9 of us doing attachment there for the same time period, 3 of them MARA scholars from Mara College Banting, two from KDU and another from KYUEM, interesting mix. We received our preliminary briefing and were brought to retrieve our temporary pass which would grant us access to areas restricted to the public only within the Emergency and Trauma (E&T) Unit (a fact all of us would forget for the day).

Then we were taken to one of the Lecture Halls to join medical doctors who are doing their Masters in one of their 'lessons'. First, we were introduced to the group by the lecturer, also the head of teaching department of E&T unit, also the person incharge of all the 9 of us, he laid down a few ground rules for us:-
(1) no doctors will be assignment specifically to guide us around
(2) we are given all access pass to do whatever we want in E&T building only
(3) we are encouraged to ask questions, only then will we learn

There we witnessed a medical presentation. It is essentially doctors presenting their case, their diagnosis, their patient management strategies, and discuss them with other doctors, of course, with the patient's personal and non-medically related details left out of the presentation. It was proceeded by a guided differential diagnosis by one of the lecturers working in the E&T Unit here, also the head of the teaching department of E&T and essentially the one who is in-charge of the nine of us. It was a truly fascinating experience.

The presenter detailed the symptoms of the patient during admission, and acquired a detailed history. (By now, I have forgotten the symptoms) Using her symptoms, they considered problems associated with her larynx or upper trachea region. Then, by referring to her history they brought allergic reaction into consideration. They went into detail for the patient management for both cases and how to rule one another out. We learned that there are two different stages of allergic reaction with different presentation of symptoms (the details are now blur).

We've also learned about the Mallampati score and the Cormack & Lehane Classification System(both used to determine the ease of intubation of a patients), even got tips of remembering them easily (meant for actual Masters students there who are about to go for a test on that.

Next was a presentation on a case of a cat bite. Patient came in with a cat bite. Questions to ask. Possibilities to consider. One of the crucial question to ask (according to my memory of what the presenter said) was "was the cat provoked?" similar to the case of dogs, to consider or rule out rabies. Then the discussion went on until it changed into a discussion about ulcers. With a picture of an ulcerated arm (the region of skin from the elbow to the fingers were gone). We learned a little about the anatomy of a typical ulcer, where is the edge, base and floor.

Break time, the lecturer was kind, he ordered food for everyone in the lecture (free of charge!), us included! It will be delivered later when all lectures had been concluded.

Next lecture was about Masters students choosing their 'assignment' or sorts, nothing related to us, so I wasn't paying much attention. Then was a presentation on a new drug to treat GI (gastrointestinal) bleed. All the statistics, mechanisms, results.. Could barely understand a thing. So wasn't paying much attention also. Noticed a group of people wearing lab coats (unlike other people there). Talked to them, found out that they are fifth year medical students, all local people, some from New Zealand University of Auckland (IMU twinning), some from IMU. Exchanged a few lines, then the conversation just died down.

Food is delivered, we took one of each of us, then went to cafeteria to eat. After eating, supposedly we are to meet the head of teaching department of E&T unit, the same lecturer who spoke during the first session but he was no where to be found, so we were left to wander around ourselves.

Here is how things are done in E&T unit of UMMC, when a patient comes in, they are examined by Triage. Normal questions were asked, "what's conditions do you have?" "does it hurt?" "where does it hurt" etc. If need be there is a 2nd Triage where normal examinations are conducted, their blood pressure, temperature etc. Then they will be sent to three different areas depending on their conditions:-

(1) Green Zone (also known as Consultation Hall) - for patients whose conditions are not serious, they do not feel unbearable pain, not at risk of dying and can wait for some time till treatment

(2) Yellow Zone - for patients who cannot wait for a long time, e.g. they feel excruciating pain, or conditions are critical. These patients will be attended to within the first hour.

(3) Red Zone (also known as Resuscitation Hall) - for patients who are critical. Their conditions are unstable and needs to be given immediate attention. (e.g. accident victims are usually immediately sent here)

In addition there are the Pediatrics Emergency Hall, a Orthopaedic Emergency Hall (where cases related to bone fracture are 'stabilized') and a X-ray and CT scan room.

This unit's function is only to stabilize patients. Once patients are stabilized, they will be referred to other relevant departments to receive treatment.

Information courtesy of a helpful houseman, this doctor will be one of the few doctors we 'cling' onto for the next two days of our attachment.

We separated into few groups, all of us forgot that we are only allowed to be around the E&T building, and went to other buildings, some got to Infectious disease, orthopaedics, and Obstetrics and Gynecology. Of course, the Dr. in-charge of us heard of our 'expeditions' and we were told that he was furious, wanted to meet us the next day.

We carried on in E&T building. Some went home, the rest of us witnessed a doctor performing a subclavian vein access in Resuscitation Hall. Shortly after, another doctor found out that we are not medical students but pre-medical students, he gave us a passionate lecture or sorts of his honest opinion, of how this hospital attachment will not benefit us much (which I agree), but it is also a breach to the doctor-patient confidentiality. He likened us coming for clinical observation as an invitation for any outsiders who wishes to do medicine to come into the hospital and have a look at patients being treated by doctors, to look at patients when they are exposed. In a way, he is right. He is also nice, after the lecture, he tells us to make full use of the three days we were given to learn more. It's motivation after his depressing lecture, kind of.

That's just about it for Day 1.

Day 2

Arrived. Waited in front of the Dr. in-charge-of-us 's room. It was early, some of us went down to the emergency orthopaedic hall, in there, there was a children crying and making a fuss, he was screaming, giving his attending doctor a hard time. The doctor tried tricking the child but it didn't work, and the screaming continued. All the while, we were observing another doctor stitching a head patch of another patient, a fifth year medical student was there too. Guess the doctor assumed we are all medical students, he began telling us how to stitch, the few simple steps. It's about time, we went back to wait for the Dr.'s arrival.

We were then asked to sit in a discussion room while waiting. There, Masters students were about to start their presentation, so we sat to observe that. First presentation was on immunoglobulins. They talked about the maturation and mechanisms of immune response in human body, something we have learned in Biology during AS, they carried on by discussing that in context of patient management for different diseases, such as Tetanus and rabies. 2nd topic was about pain. Lots of things I couldn't understand, half of us were half asleep, but I did catch something interesting, we have different types of nerves with different rate of transmission. And that massaging an area could generate a stronger nerve which would 'cancel out' the pain nerve impulses.

Rest of the day, we (group I followed, as we broke into smaller groups) witnessed : -

- emergency orthopaedic - patient fractured his tibia and fibula, doctor made a cast to hold his legs together. Patient is a drug-user, doctor has already given him extra dosage of morphine (as analgesic), but patient still feels pain. As a result of the painkiller, he is 'high', he doesn't know what is he saying, but he does respond when he feels pain. Doctor there explained that (not being racist here, it's a fact) Indians have lower pain threshold, and as the patient is a frequent drug-user, his body has developed drug tolerance, hence the analgesic (morphine) given to him has little to no effect at all. Procedure was simple, but great deal of teamwork between the doctor and the staff nurses there.

- radiology room - saw technician fixed up X-ray machine for use, doctors doing X-ray, and some doctor viewing CT scan of another patient.

conclude day 2.

Day 3.

Morning, arrived, meet up with friend, went straight to Resuscitation Hall. Saw the houseman we met on first day, got his permission to witness him doing a procedure, he kept on saying 'long line', 'long line'.. So let's assume it's 'long line' procedure. (Internet search shows that long line is a medical device) The procedure is quite similar to that of the subclavian vein access. However, this time, the catheter is already in place, he is inserting a 'long line' into the catheter. According to him, this has to be done to all patients to measure the blood salt content and hydrostatic pressure to ensure that the patient is well hydrated and receives adequate solute from IV bag, and adjust the amount given as appropriate, too much or too little is not good.

We were also introduced to an ABG (arteriole blood gas) machine, this machine can detect the composition of a person's blood. Just insert the blood sample, machine takes a small portion of it, processes it, and it'll print out the composition, e.g. pO2, pCO2, concentration of Na+, Cl- and various other ions, pH of blood, hydrogen carbonate concentration and many more). The doctor knew that we are not medical students, but he still tries to explain them in terms we can understand. The device can be used to determine if the patient's symptoms are respiratory in nature or not.

Then we were told there is a case and they are expecting a patient in 15 minutes. It's the Resuscitation Hall, when they are expecting a patient, it will be an emergency. While waiting, there was a serene calm as everyone prepares everything.

Patient arrived, we are allowed into the ward, to witness first-hand what is it they actually do. Doctors do their part. Doctor A insert catheter for IV-line and a Urine Catheter while doctor B checks for bone fractures. Questions were asked. Medical Officer who were with patient in the ambulance answered. Patient accident victim, motorcyclist had collision with stationary lorry. Had multiple fracture in his right lower arm right leg. The upper part of his leg looked dislocated. Doctor B worked with staff nurses to put on an emergency fracture immobilizer, a temporary measure before sending patient for X-ray and then to emergency orthopaedic or the actual orthopaedic department. Another doctor checked for preexisting wounds. Found a few. They irrigate the wounds, in principal it's to open the bandages, clean the would and re-bandage them. One of the doctors were kind enough to explain to us what were they doing when he's free. According to him, whenever they get a patient like this, they do the ABCDs..

A - Airway - ensure airway is open. Patient were given a neck support with the head and neck in neutral position to ensure that patient's trachea do not collapse and that the spinal cord do not displace.

then
B - Breathing - check if patient is breathing

That's all he could explain as he was too busy after that.

According to internet search, C is for Circulation and D is for Disability. I have yet to read in detail about it.

Cooperation and communication between doctors, staff nurses, and other medical officers truly are essential in delivering effective healthcare. Doctors are not a level above staff nurses, in fact doctors cannot operate effectively without staff nurses to assist them during procedures. I've realized that nurses, have been underrated by society.

Then, we were tasked by the Dr.-in-charge-of-us to do the 'arts' part of medicine. To talk to a patient, clean him up (wipe is upper body and legs) and get him something to drink and eat. We, guys are only asked to buy food and drink, the rest were tasked to the female members of our group. Stumbled into a few medical students (doing attachment there) while buying food, they laughed. Don't know if it's because they find the situation funny or they laughed at our naivety of taking the instructions seriously.

Back to the ward, girls are already washed up, gloves on, have already cleaned the person up. Now to give him some drink. Patient drank. Refused to eat. Complained of stomach ache, had us panicked. Got him to eat some food. Then he refused. Mumbling all the way. Couldn't understand him. The girls were left clueless of what to do, so was I. The Dr. came, told us we have done something by doing these small gestures, he couldn't let us do anything within the medical area, but the non-medical area (e.g. tender loving care), we can do, and this is as important as the medicine. the Resuscitation Hall was already getting crowded, he let us go, gave us permission to wander about.

Went around a few rounds, went up, had lunch. Came down, a few more rounds, nothing much is happening, we decided to call today an end at around 1 pm. There was this form, we needed to fill up, about what we've observed, learned etc.. and let our supervisor - the doctor incharge of us to sign. Spent some time filling up the form. Then handing the form up to the doctor for it to be signed. Members in our group from Mara Banting College require some letter from the hospital verifying that they have completed the attachment, so we tagged along and requested as well, just in case our colleges require it as well. Waited for the letter. Got it at 3pm, had to find our supervisor to get it signed. Then, we passed the signed form to Jabatan Latihan, returned our temporary passes, and said our goodbyes.

End of day 3.

Looking back, I missed those three days, though the first day had been awkward, I've come to accept and enjoy the truly stimulating and insightful experience. I see and learn new things every day. I'll also miss my multicultural Hospital Attachment teammates. Contrary to popular believes (more like that of our politicians), we do not see each other based on our religion and races, but we respect them. Anyhow, during the attachment, we've encountered different types of doctors. There are those who were still humble, helpful, kind and realisticly encouraging (they did not discourage us from doing medicine but encouraged us if we are truly interested), they allowed us to watch them as they work and tried their best to explain the procedures to us, pre-medical students. There are also those who seemed to have lost their professionalism to experience, making them seem obnoxious and mean.

As a doctor told us during the attachment, "no matter who you are and how much you think you know, always, remember, be humble. Be humble, only then will you learn more"

UKM Anatomy Museum

2011-12-15T06:04:00.000-08:00

It all began when I was fussing over hospital attachments and all those, in my opinion, in our current state, useless 'work experiences' and 'exposures' that 'would look good' in our personal statements and curriculum vitae. My cousin called and mentioned that he has gotten permission to visit UKM's Anatomy Museum, filled with real preserved human body parts. Immediately I jumped at such opportunity to test my ability to stand looking at internal organs to whatnot and to get something down into my sad personal statement or curriculum vitae.

Today is the day. Because it was meant for the university in which my cousin is a lecturer - TARC, I was the 'unofficial' visitor, and had to blend in and impersonate a TARC student.

I had to travel to UKM by myself while they took a bus from TARC.

I was assigned to a group of students who didn't even mind that I was an outsider, we had a few short conversations. Soon after, we were led to the Anatomy room.

We were separated into several groups, each led by different lecturers (there were 3, my cousin being one of them). I joined my 'friends'. It is immediately clear that, we are expected to find our own way in the room, a Malaysian style 'lawatan sambil belajar' or 'study trip' (is that right?), none of the lecturers bothered to guide us around, expecting us to took around and read the labels, that's all. None, except my cousin, he immediately took his group to one section and started 'guiding them' per say, quizzing students on things they already should know, names of different parts of the body, providing explanation each step of the way. This serves as a sort of revision of their subject matter.

While other lecturers are happily strolling about and enjoying the scenery, he went for a second round as many other students assigned in other groups asked for him to explain again, a clear representation of the importance of attitude. No matter how experienced or how long you had served in the field, it's your attitude that matters. The amount of dedication and hard work you put in will be seen and appreciated.

As his students are going to take a final exams soon, and my guess is that he is one of the examiner, he gives subtle (okay, it's quite obvious) clues on where his students should place emphasis during revision.

"This is the thyroid gland. THIS is the THYROID GLAND. THYROID GLAND."
or, "I love KIDNEYS. LOVE THEM VERY MUCH!"

As for me, it's was truly amazing, being able to see real body parts preserved in formaline (actually mixture of formaline and something else) and also those preserved with a new method they call plastination, an odourless, cheaper method of preservation of cadavers.

I was also astounded by the interesting complexities of our body. There is this poster showing different nerves controlling different regions of our body, and it is described in the poster is that this knowledge is used in localized anesthesia ; there is also a section where it is describes the bones and muscles behind the opening and closing of the larynx (or our voice box), very interesting. Not to mention, following the crowd listening to my cousin giving lessons at each 'station', I am revising my long-forgotten SPM biology while learning new things!

All and all, it was worthwhile, more than just to appear good on paper and interviews, it was an experience.

Next, hospital attachment, news is it has been approved, but I've yet to receive any official letters from UMMC, hope to hear from them soon.

This holiday is so full of activities...

for, you

2011-12-13T02:56:00.000-08:00

Your schemes, brilliant; your execution, externally flawless.

However, though you may have made a number of people happy (quite a number at that), you have also created many enemies.

I do admit, I did not let go, I never let go, I'll remember this fall for the rest of my life, as instead of brooding over it, I've learned to make it my motivation, to push harder... I am a man who holds grudges..

I hope you realize how many aspirants who deserved it, who had worked hard for it, had have their dreams and aspirations crushed due to your incompetent, biased, flawed judgement, just so you can score more political points prior to the impending elections. With that, I do not speak of myself, I speak of many of my friends who had scored better, who were better in opinion, mature in though, sure of their decisions, who did not get an offer, but it was another group of people in replacement...

That aside, you have also rendered our education system impotent, unable to produce quality students, I know as I am also one of the product of the system, thought many people would say, "look at those successful people, they went through the same system, and they are doing well". My humble opinion is that those 'successful people' you were referring to, succeed not because of the system, rather in spite of the failing system.

You have also allowed the great increase in the number of medical schools to churn out more fresh doctors to meet the doctor to patient ratio of a modernize country. Instead of focusing of quality, you chose quantity, to meet the number specified, not the quality required of each doctors, you failed to foresee that the great influx of medical students would bring trouble as there are only just these small numbers of certified, qualified professors who could teach them, guide them and nurture them to be quality and most importantly, safe doctors. You have also made a lackadaisical decision on our houseman-ship program, measures such as increasing the number of years, giving more hospitals for houseman-ships without considering that particular hospital's ability to guide and nurture these fresh graduates, often times resulting to untrained doctors, doctors who do not know their stuffs..

These are the reasons why I am careful of my selection of universities to pursue my further education. I do not just want the degree, that piece of paper.. I would want the education, gain the knowledge and experience required to make a competent doctor...

Forgive me if I appear unpatriotic, if I appear ungrateful, if I think that the grass on the other side is greener, I am patriotic, I refuse to treat patients with half-boiled knowledge and skills; I am grateful, grateful of the peaceful country I lived in...

In midst of all the criticism, applause must be given to our government for still providing PSD scholarships for fields such as Medicine, Dentistry. Scholarships now not given by private companies or any other body anymore.

Aih, always, when we medical student aspirants talk about the universities we'd love to go to, all would be well until the time when we'd have to face one major problem, financials... Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge that there are local universities that provide cheap medical courses.. However, as highlighted above, if your aim is to be a graduate with an MBBS certificate, then by all means, go.. but if your aim is to be a graduate who knows his stuff, who is more prepared for his future in the medical field, not just any university would do.. You'd have to be cautiously selective.. which leaves....

2011-12-10T00:25:00.000-08:00

Dundee Interview.

True to its claims, it is the most interesting and refreshing way to conduct interviews.

Its called MMIs (Multiple Mini Interviews). The interview consists of 10 MMIs each 7 minutes long. Sort of a type of 'station game' that we used to play during our leadership training camps and what not.

Each applicant would go in a random room during the first 7 minutes. After 7 minutes, the siren would sound, literally, I'm not joking and we'll have to switch rooms. Different rooms consist of different challenges with different themes and types of activity. And this cycle repeats until every candidate has entered every room and attempted different challenges/interviews.

I can still remember when we (my batch) were finished, everyone's expression were like filled with relieved, surprise and the 'what the hell' expression.

Instead of the traditional interview where one or a board of interviewers ask questions and you answer. The interview was more than that, with some components taken out of activities we do during leadership/teamwork camps. E.g guiding a blindfolded 'assistant' (their people) to perform a certain task, role play etc. My personal opinion is that it acts as a true test of one's characteristics, merely reading 'model answers' and practicing interviewing techniques would not do, in fact, I think there are no preparation tips/secrets for this interview style, we can only be ourselves.

It was an enjoyable and enlightening experience, and that was not because I felt that I did well for the interview (I don't think I did well during the interviews). I've learned many things during this interview. For one, I've learned a little bit more about Singapore's education system and their National Service system.

I've also witnessed the high regard towards which Singaporeans place their National University (NUS), something not seen in Malaysia. With parents placing NUS on par with/above UK universities. Malaysia, oh, Malaysia government, why are you not seeing it.. if even our neighbor - Singapore, which achieved independence later than us, can build their education into something prestigious, uphold their universities to real international standards, standards worth the pride of the nation, why not us?

I've also met new friends randomly talking to other people. Even took a 'tour' around IMU with a stranger I met after the interview. Somehow, we just started chatting.

That's it, didn't go into detail about the interview because I am lazy to recalled specific details. One university interview down, 2 more to go. Fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

2011-12-05T07:39:00.001-08:00

"SPM is an illusion"

Well said.

It is true, I agree that we are academically bad compared to other classes. That we do not live up to the standard befitting of the college in which we chose to enroll in.

I feel the same way since the first semester exam. Other classes are way ahead of us, even those of March intake in every subjects, yet we think that we'd still have time during our third semester to complete A2 core syllabus and A2 applications, how deep had we sunk in our disillusionment..

You have every right to scold us, to berate us. However, my personal opinion is that you have went too personal, you accused students for not working hard just because of a single examination. Using that logic, it would have meant that I have been sleeping, not paying attention and playing a fool for the past 12 months in my Chemistry as, as shameful as I am to admit it, I had made countless careless mistakes during my recent AS final examinations, mistakes I would not have made during normal tests.

For us who were the receiving end of the chastise, instead of pulling a sour face and ignore the message as it is more convenient to assume that the speaker is just being mean and had a bad day than to take a hard look at ourselves, that although we are not disillusioned by SPM, we are not working hard enough for our A levels......

For the speaker, perhaps a softer approach for the fragile people...

2011-12-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

Our society, an intricate web of interactions between organisms of a particular species - Homo sapien, is governed by a set of rules we call 'norm', a sort of formality to keep our day to day interactions pleasant, and to minimize the incidence of misunderstandings and conflict.

Although most of us would grow up learning these set of rules, seeing the mutual benefits, the serenity and peace it entails if practiced right, there are those who question the need of such 'norms', and those rebellious few who purposefully goes against them.

What's more surprising is there are those who have no consciousness of such norm, who blatantly speaks what he/she thinks, speak at tones inappropriate for the occasion, i.e. when he/she asks for help, the wording may be correct, courteous, the tone marks it as authoritative and demanding, definitely not that of a man in need. Time and time again, people have pointed out this person's flaw in character which may be costly to him, but to no avail.

There are also those who could concoct junk and speak them as if they are facts, sprinkled with countless disclaimers so that he/she would not be held accountable when all hell breaks loose. In all the 18 years of my life, I've heard government officials promising scholarships to all students with 9A+ and above only to lower them to 8A+ (with a catch : not everyone will get overseas offer, which turned out to be a mess), I've heard politicians caught red handed with video recording proving his involvement in bribery getting away with "he sounds like me, looks like me, talks like me, walks like me, but is not me". Never had I thought i would hear this, coming from one of us, the future leaders, "We are having a party with a Halloween theme but with a little Christmas element in it, so essentially, it's also a Christmas party.." Many may say it's innovation, creativity.. but I would disagree, it looks to be more of a shameless attempt to widen the scope of the event, perhaps it's the conservative me talking...

Never imagined the day we exchange Christmas gifts, when couples kiss under the mistletoe, when carols sing festive songs in a haunted house, with frightening decorations....

2011-11-25T08:28:00.000-08:00

AS exams - over
ECA recognition ceremony - passed

16th Nov, time seems to have passed fleetingly, so quickly, 11 months of my college life just passed by. The funny thing is, just as it felt fast, this year felt long, with dedicated sections of the year marked by momentous events.

6 more months then we graduate, 6 more months then we will be on our separate ways once more, some flying to far away lands, some moving closer to home, to pursue what they meant to pursue....

Before that, 3 months time, trials, 3 months + perhaps 4 weeks of trials + 2 weeks of 'cool off period'.. totaling up to nearly 4 months maybe? Our A2 finals..

Before exams

2011-10-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Everytime, looking back, I tell myself, I did my best.

However, this year, I could never do that.

My A levels, thus far, though decent, isn't my best, I am not doing my best, not at my tip. Now, time is counting down, the final push, nothing left to do but cover up all my loses, quit sulking, and push through... aih..

My activeness in co-curricular activities, has been... disastrous, though I claim with pride that I have done much for my club (PMS) but it wasn't what I had expected beginning this year. Our projects were never done as a whole team, were never our own project, always leaching off other's project... aih...

My ego, had been pushed to its limit and broke, underwent permanent deformation, it now hit core that I was never the best and will never be the best. Even the tallest mountain has another competitor, another higher peak. I have no reason to question what has been assigned to me and make unjustified comparisons with other people who are obviously at a different, much elite league than me...

Taylor's was meant by my parents to be a great start off point for me. They paid through their pockets to get me in, and keep me in, regardless of the so-claimed high price and low fee reduction quantum, they funded my studies. Sorry mom, dad, I didn't fully honour your sacrifices...

No matter, exams around the corner, I'll do my best. Though I'll never join the ranks of the elites, the ranks held by my seniors before me as World Top Students, Best in Asian Region, Best in Malaysia... I'll do my best... There's no other way...

"人生，要么就精彩地继续活下去，要么就赶紧死了算了” - 刘伟

2011-06-21T03:53:00.000-07:00

Quoted from house m.d.

House : Would you operate on your mother?
Student : Of course not. I'd be too nervous. Couldn't be objective.
House: Then why are you so anxious to treat every patient like they're family?

Break

2011-06-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

"After your semester break, we will begin our A2 syllabus, and I warn you beforehand that it is a lot more tougher than AS. So, your semester break isn't really a holiday, it's a study break" -Biology Lecturer

Belated post

2011-06-11T19:19:00.000-07:00

Dilemma of every JPA scholars I know,

They are not sure whether the course they applied for, for which they have gotten the offer, is really what the intended to do. (including those who got overseas)

For those who got local, they see a future with more and better choices if they do not follow the JPA offer which though uncertain seems more attractive.

For those who got local but 'unreputable' universities, they fear letting go of an offer to study for free/minimal fee (AIMST asked me to pay RM700 for God-knows-what upon registration) and wasting the offer.

Conclusion, everyone wants a better offer from JPA.

Those who did not get it, especially the ones who really need the scholarship, would settle for any offer, so long as they get to study their desired course. Those who got local 'not so reputable institutions' would want the offer to study in 'reputable institutions'. Those who got local 'reputable institutions' wants to go overseas. Those who got overseas are not happy with the country of which they were offered and would want to go to a different country or would settle with any local 'renowned institutions'.

Conclusion, it's all messed up, not just on the part of JPA, but also amongst the recipients.

What justifies that everyone is entitled, as if it was their birthright if they got great results would be given a scholarship to study the course of their choice in the country of their choice?

Things i think Mr Bong would not like to hear

2011-06-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

Committee meeting.

President not present
reason : "my mom came and fetch me already lah~~"

Taylors administration say president contacted them about an event
President's reply : "I did not tell them anything.."

Meeting, 4 out of 9 present...

Member 1,
reason, my Thinking Skills lecturer leaving soon, class having farewell lunch, cannot attend.

Member 2,
reason, most probably not informed of meeting...

Member 3,
Still in AS exams, accepted..

Member 4,
Came early, went early before meeting starts...

Member 5,
Not informed...

Questions,
1) Who is responsible in telling them of the meeting? The vice treasurer?
2) Farewell lunch more important or review and planing for future events while we still have time as our break just started before all hell breaks loose more important?
3) President got it wrong or Taylors administration got it wrong? (doesn't really matter)
4) 4 people (1 Public Relations Officer, 2 Vice Presidents, 1 Vice treasurer) out of 9.. short of 1 person from majority, can make major decisions regarding the club?

==========

For one event

1) Bought a bag of 100 balloons costing rm30+ just to use up not even half of the packet
2) Bought unclarified items, uncertain numbers of things for gifts for games.
3) Things were sketchily discussed regarding issue pertaining purchase of items.
4) Turn-up rate is projected to be low but just pressed on anyway, resulting in over-budgeting.

Message to My 2010 Self

2011-06-08T04:57:00.000-07:00

You did good.

The future is not what you imagined it to be.

Remember how mom and dad said you should stop all extra-curricular activities? The Khidmat Masyarakat, Leadership Camps, Prefect Camps and focus on your SPM? I hope you can find ways to talk them to let you go for "Khidmat Masyarakat". Although you may disagree with me but now, the real world, they don't care much about what qualities you have during interviews, they care more on what have you done, what have you experienced, and all the certs, to be able to stand out in the real world, you need to first look good on paper.

Though unsatisfied with the offer, you went along to study in Taylors anyway, people there are not who people say they are. Sure, there are those rich people but most of them are humble people as well, they don't flaunt their wealth as described by those rumors.

You'd worked with the best people thus far during your years in BU3 prefect board, dedicated, hard-working people. Sure, there are frictions here and there but overall they were good. When in Taylors, you'll experience much more, different personalities different attitudes. You'll have to learn to cope with that.

2011 is a political year, now there are whispers and indications that election is coming.

Thus, as you would have expected, JPA scholarships are given out like handouts.
Oh yea, they lowered the standards for people who are confirmed to be given the scholarship from 9A+ to 8A+. As usual, many were happy with their offer, many were grateful, many were also sad.

So be prepared for the worse and hope for the best.

That's all for now.

THIS IS AN EMO POST, I WILL NOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY OF WHATEVER POSTED HERE.. BE WARNED

2011-05-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

JPA Scholarship released.

Najib promised 9A+ SPM 2011 students a JPA oversea OR local scholarship last year.

This year, my SPM result met the criteria.

Interview I did my best.

But.

After 3 delays, 2 weeks after the expected release date, D-day.

Result:
PIDN (Local Scholarship)
AIMST - Foundation in Science
then
AIMST University - MBBS

-----------------------------------------------

Yes, I know Medicine JPA oversea is tough to get.... but... the result

made me rethink a few things...

am I as good as people keep telling me?

maybe i got to cocky... and forgot one universal truth, THERE ARE MANY MORE PEOPLE WAY WAY WAYYYY BETTER THAN ME

maybe instead of confidence, i portrayed cockiness, was picky, did not do well during the interview

maybe my A+(s) were nothing.. i got lucky.. i was just at the margin... just very very very lucky

maybe all my achievements which i thought were superb are just simple routine for others...

maybe, although i comment on others' bad leadership, i myself don't even have any leadership qualities.... making me someone who just loves to whine... but not do anything to change it

maybe.... i don't deserve it....

2011-04-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Michael Khai's post
"好久没写华语了！
哈哈～
那些Banana就读不到我的post了～Sorry~ XP

昨天去了学校参加了第三届文学营
老实的说，是最好玩，最Organised的吧～
但是食物方面就是最差的！

我很喜欢今年这场讲座
由周金亮主讲
这次的不是那些普普通通的讲座，大家听讲师后睡觉
他带了把吉他，与我们一起边弹边唱～
多么的有趣～

好了，讲那么多给你们听也没用
将会上载些短片和照片给你们看！
别走开哦！"

恭喜今年的委员……
但是，恕我无礼，毕竟我只帮忙办活动过，没有真正主办活动的经验……
有些部分，委员们还有进步的空间……

1）戏剧比赛时，
有些组别超时，也不怪委员们，但是希望委员们从此过失吸取经验……

2 ）station games 时，
前两届出现的问题，
如，不知几时要换站，又出现了……

3）食物……
小人也不必多说了……你们都吃过，让各位的舌头做个明确的判断……哈哈

这些也不过是小细节而以……

大致上，这届文学营就如michael khai所说的，好玩……好玩，开心就好……XD

I feel like throwing my phone away and smashing it into bits and pieces... ARGH

2011-03-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Note to self, when organizing an event:-

1) Sunday is a family day (IMPORTANT!!)

2) Democratic means 3 months/weeks before event, with 1 month/week left, use autocratic means, determine, place, date, time on your own.

3) Make sure you know the way there and if possible, prepare a map for them.

4) After determined, send 'sms' to everyone involved, if no reply in 24 hours, call them!!

5) If less than 50% of people can't make it, consider situation, cancel event if the event has lost its function.

6) NEVER, NEVER, EVER, consult for people's opinion with one week left to event.

7) Facebook is NOT a good place to get opinion, people go on facebook to see latest post about themselves, comments on their posts, and play facebook games. Some may be too busy to check. Use direct communication, sms/call/face to face.

Rule applies to activities for club, friend gathering etc...

纸上谈兵

2011-03-02T05:09:00.001-08:00

Literally meant "discussing military strategy on a piece of paper", meaning NATO(No Action, Talk Only).

Today, went for a peculiar sort of 'selection test' for a club in college.

Why peculiar?

4 person from each post is shortlisted from an interview session held before this present day to attend a 'mock-meeting', chaired by 4(or was it 3) president candidates. Imagine a boat with 3 or 4 captains... Not done properly... Hectic...

That's what happened. We were tasked to make a year plan for the club. President no.1 start giving speech on what is the society's vision and mission and how our activities are suppose to be in line with those visions and missions. Then, he moved on stating his primary concerns which are:
1) the name of the club which in short form is PMS..
2) publicity of the club, wanted to make the club more popular by putting posters, banners etc...

Vice President candidate no.1 interjected saying our main concern is suppose to be in the activities, no the 'commercial' in a subtle way.

President candidate no.2 said ok, we should continue on by thinking what activities to do this year, presented his own idea which i forgot, gave a speech at the same time, then asked each of us to give our ideas.

So, one at a time, each candidates gave their ideas, in a form of a speech, which is looooong. It wasn't long before the current president had to stop us, tell us we strayed from our agenda and gave us another shot.

This time, our situation is, we are going to host an event, and the committee is discussing about the event.

President no.1 spoke,

The event is set as a First-aid Training event.
Date: around our semester break in April
Venue: Lecture theater or Multipurpose hall

So far so good,
then everything went everywhere.

One minute we were talking about what souvenirs to give, next minute we are talking about who to invite to train us, then back to souvenirs and food, then to number of participants, then back to souvenirs asking whether the budget is enough.. and then to publicity of the event and they stayed in the publicity of the event... zzz

In the end, our meeting was unfruitful...

In my opinion, missed out points,
Actual date, they should cross reference with all timetables of porgrammes taken by their members...
President said it is a 3 days program, what are the activities going to be done there, roughly...
Budget(which is negligible due to the fact that we have no idea how much we have)
Then, most importantly, distribution of job load, who plan what, who do what...

Funniest thing is, we talked so much about telling the world about the event creating posters, posting on facebook, twitter etc.. Eh, hello, how are you going to promote something you don't even know what it is??? Zzz

2011-01-11T06:05:00.000-08:00

If only....

Regrets...

If only I had...

then...

If only I had not panicked, I would step on the clutch before stepping on the brake..

Then, the engine wouldn't die off..

Driving manual car in real life is completely different from Need For Speed.. Haha...

I wanna go back to playing Need For Speed leh...

2011-01-03T05:26:00.000-08:00

Please....

Stop asking me questions I can't answer....

Stop asking me why my result were good during form 4 and 5...

Stop asking me why my friend's results deteriorated...

Truth is, I've never thought my results as creme de la crem..
I've never thought my friend's results are bad...
I've never ever think myself as one of the best...

Much less thought of the reason why behind every one of such claims..

Stop asking me to go one place at first and when the time is too late, asking me whether I still want to go to another place...

Stop asking me to decide where I want to go, what I want to do when the agreement has been signed, money paid and process completed and done with... It's just a little too late, don't you think?

So, tell me, how am I suppose to answer them?

Please....

And to another individual,

please give your answer....

2010-12-23T17:28:00.000-08:00

Little or no people comes over to read anymore...

Regardless, I'll try to put up some updates to keep it alive..

Year end holidays, repetitive, play games, watch tv shows, read story books...

Oh and there's the driving test, haha...

Undang test later.. wish me luck!!

2010-10-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

无话可说

人，各有各的不同。最近，我学会了，不要太执着于人们的对与错，只要明白他们就好了……

但是，单单明白已经难了又难。以为你认识以久，非常了解身边的人，哪知道，应为某件事，让你重新检讨你到底明白他多少、了解他多深……

有些呢，要求人家了解他，却不让人们了解他。凡事都要人们去猜，要人家去想。人家胡思乱想、猜错时，就叫人“不知道别乱讲”，感叹知己难寻，说他不惜歌者苦，只伤知音稀……

哎~~

写了这么多，觉得我自己也是，过于刻薄，太苛求于人……

2010-10-06T07:00:00.001-07:00

早知如此，何必当初？

未来又如何？比当今重要？

考到优良成绩又如何？十年二十年后也不是一张张的废纸……

考试

明知道一定会漏题，还硬着要让学生考

学生考试前得到题目，甚至答案

预料之内

破口大骂

说学生笨！

说他们自己不笨！

拜托，让学生连续考量中考时，却决定只拿学校的考卷

不如把另一个考试当练习

省学生的精神和时间，也省你的口水

四周围的家户也可安眠都几分钟

岂不是一箭双雕？天下太平？

哎……

Worth reading

2010-10-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

Source : Spam mail

Something that we do often take for granted.....

This is about a man who tells how his booking an air ticket for his father, his first flight, brought emotions and made him realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never travelled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Lufthansa.

The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things. As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.

As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for football, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have satisfied to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes?

Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care need to be given to our parents and elders.

Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of our parents. Don't take them for granted and make them feel small and unwanted in their old age. They too havefeelings/dreams/hope/aspirations/wishes (and many broken/shattered ones) too while sacrificing them to give us our needs and our wants.

If you think this is worth reading, please share it with others too.

Be Kind.....Be Good.....Above All Else.....Be Truthful... and be Thankful too.

Questions

2010-09-10T08:05:00.000-07:00

Answer these few questions

How would you feel

when someone doesn't reply your message?

when someone tells you something halfway then until the most critical moment, just stopped talking?

when someone tells you that 'you won't understand' even though a little explaining would do to help you understand?

when someone tells you 'you will get it when the time is right' and expects you to know when the time is right?

when someone says 'nobody understands me!!!!' but doesn't let people understand him/her?

when someone just freaking wants you to learn how to read their bloody mind??!?!?!!?

when someone tells you to cherish something and doesn't tell you what it is?

when someone tells you that something is going soon and not telling you what it is while saying you must cherish it??

Annoyed. Irritated. Grrrrr

2010-09-04T05:17:00.000-07:00

有时，好像闭起那双心灵之门，对周围的每一件事物、每一个情景，视若无视，见了也不去理会

好好的活在自己温暖的世界里，与世无争

有时，好希望有那时光之门，方能让我回到过去，回到那不知不觉中错过的一切，重新来过

若当时我不那么迷茫与自己，没有那么自私，好好的关心身边人，现在会不会不一样？

有时，好希望有胆子打开心胸之门，对身边人说真心话，不必为了“免得伤害别人”而不说了

可以直话直说，不必虚伪，不必隐藏

也不用成天因为自己没胆子对别人坦诚，希望对方有“读脑袋”的特能而闷闷不乐

有时，好想打开声音之门

嘲笑人类

嘲笑人类的无知

嘲笑人类说一套，做一套

嘲笑人类出尔反尔

嘲笑人类

有时只看别人而不看自己

而又是呢，人类却只看到自己，不把别人放在眼里

嘲笑人类

嘲笑自己

“说了再见才发现再也见不到”

2010-08-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

Tonight, the moon is beautiful...

Bright, its light shines through my room's window, faintly lighting it up.

The effect is beautiful...

Life has not been so serene for the past few weeks...

What with our trials brewing up in a few days time...

What with the constant reminder that we have 3 more months before SPM...

What with the fact we are constantly denying ourselves of...

that we have only there precious three months left of the chance to see each other five times per week...

now I know how you feel last year when it was your turn...

what with the recent drama that has unfold at 'schoolfront'...

Recently, someone claims something that is false. In return, that someone got a few hours or days of attention before all the chalet was exposed. Anger, disappointment ensues...

Some say they must help that someone, to save him from his deceiving acts, fearing that this nature of his will be detrimental to his future, will doom his days ahead...

Some, mostly the same lot expressed anger and disappointment in his actions...

They were fed up of all those lies (that someone has told some different stories (or real facts, still undetermined) before), they claimed.

In midst of emotional entanglement, some felt the need for action, they remarked back, gave apparent but not-so-apparent signs, hoping a realization and an apology.

Others resort to straight up confrontation, they took away the name just to avoid being too frank and hurting that person.

Now, that person spilled the beans, claims that it was meant to be a harmless prank. Forgiveness was given immediately by some parties....

While some others demanded face-to-face apology and for that fella to spill more beans as if certain all that were told was false, mere fiction...

Me, I see anger, I wanted to help...

However, I don't feel it in my heart what I saw in others, all the rage and disappointment, the feeling of being betrayed, the tinge of concern and the need to act...

Nothing...

I find myself asking questions like these... which are still left unanswered...

Why all this rage?

Everyone suspected something since the beginning, even before this, everyone has already doubted the things said to them by that person and a simple picture tagging everyone just sparks everyone into a fury frenzy?

Or is it that only a select few are actually angry? Others just inherited the anger from them, fueling it in the process?

Then all those negative remarks posted for the world to see...

Is it necessary? To be subtle?

Those remarks have done another effect, is it probably the reason why everyone was so sure that it is a lie, the remarks reaffirms others suspicion and their remarks in response to the realization further confirms it...

It is no wonder how "everyone knows about the lie"

Then there is one funny part, before the exposure, a group of people praised...

After exposure, they turned 180 degree and started cursing and scolding the person responsible..

A lie is only as good as the people that believes it.... Get the idea?

Then there is the "this is a lie, other 'unbelievable/half-believable' 'stories'(still unconfirmed) are definitely a lie also"....... Prove? Basis? Just because that person's life might different from ours, better than ours doesn't mean it is definitely falsified...

===================

Now,

questions for the 'liar'

Why the lie?

Then you claim it is a prank... I don't see any prank in it... What is the prank here? Where is the punch line?

Why go through all this trouble?

Why?

What else about you are true? What else are false?

Who are you actually?

=======================

I don't believe anger can subside faster than when it is built up, forgiveness is not instant noodle... It takes time...

Those who has forgiven... Hope it was genuine

To the one who has apologized... it is not the sorry that is important... It is the lesson learnt...

Hope you don't repeat this again... Because it will only harm yourself in the future and no friend wants to see a friend hurt...

"Which side are you on?" A friend asked me when we discussed about this sometime ago

I don't know,

Then I realized I am on nobody's side.

Because I ask myself,

just like I wanted to ask everyone else,

Why do you feel the need to expose that person?

To tell that person that we know of his lies?

Is it because we are fed up of it?

Because we are angry?

Because the person deserves it?

Or because it is for that person's benefit?

I can't find the answer...

For revenge's sake or for the betterment of that person?

Answer that....

2010-08-17T06:22:00.001-07:00

Your words kept repeating in my mind...

"If you really want to, you will do it~~~"

"and not make excuses~~~"

I am lost with words,

because the more I try to explain myself,

to tell myself I did my best,

the more I don't trust myself,

I more I feel like all those so-called explanations, unforeseen circumstances etc...

are merely excuses I made up not long ago

repeatedly

to make myself feel better....

You were right.

but why am I still so persistent?

废话XD

2010-08-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

若时光是海浪，心里的伤痕如海滩上的脚印。

潮水慢慢地把脚印从洁白的沙滩洗去，时间缓缓地把心灵上的创伤盖上。

但是记忆里，永不会忘记，我们曾经一起同行，曾经一起踏下那些已消失的脚印。

2010-08-11T07:20:00.000-07:00

一暴治暴，又何成就？又何好处？

结果也不是绕着一个无终点的暴力循环圈子里，搞得双方团团转，伤痕累累？

双方都不肯忍让，都不肯理解，不肯静思，从另一方的角度思考，理解

就下了定论

另一方是错的、是坏的

拜托，他也是对你怀着一样的观点

可怜那些困在中间的无辜百姓，在战火间的人民

必须为别人的无知与无能，承担损失

现在的世界，

都是“我”对，他人的错

不管“我”的事

与“我”无关

坏了关键事

值得吗？

部落格好久没更新了，写写废话散散心。XD

2010-07-31T03:43:00.000-07:00

All We'd Ever Need lyrics
Lady Antebellum

Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
And nobody knows it but me

I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me

Everyday I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say

[Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need

My friends think I'm moving on
But the truth is I'm not that strong
And nobody knows it but me

And I've kept all the words you said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me

But if you're happy I'll get through somehow
But the truth is that I've been screaming out

[Repeat Chorus]

I should've been chasing you
You should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
Oh you should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
And maybe you could've made me believe
That what we had girl
Oh that what we had, what we had
It was all we'd ever need
It was all we'd ever need

Love the song. XD

2010-07-23T06:03:00.000-07:00

"Why do you want to read your friends? I would be freaked out if I were you," a friend told me this...

The reason why I want to learn how to read people is...

because I know that there's something about me they are not telling me, I noticed the same thing over and over again, why the evasive gestures? Why avoid my questions about myself? Is it because I'm so terrible a person and fragile to go with it everyone is going all the lengths to protect me from hurting myself, or to avoid being the one responsible of tearing me apart?

because I want to know what the people around me are actually thinking, who can stare me straight in the eye and tell me that they had spoken out their mind their entire lives?

because I find people very interesting....

they hate it when wrong is done to them...

but they love it if its them who is doing the deed...

they only think from their own perspective...

but they expect people around them to think from their perspective...
the expect people to consider their feelings, their thoughts, their status etc etc...

they treat some one way...

then they turn around and treat other people in a completely different way...

and because I hope one day I can make a difference...

though some might deny it, I haven't been the good kind of friend...
often times, I'm insensitive, inconsiderate...
often times, I notice the signs but didn't know what to make of it...
until it's too late...

This is why I want to learn...

2010-07-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

I didn't tell you this Wei Khai but yesterday, during English tuition, when we were discussing about national service...

You asked a question that freaked me out...

You asked, "Didn't she turn darker after ns?" or somewhere along those lines...

Funny should I tell you that on my way to that very tuition, the question popped into my mind...

On another occasion,

I introduced a song cover that is introduced to me by a friend to another friend, Kin Yen...

Turns out, the song have been stuck in Kin Yen's mind for some time now, he just didn't know what it was...

Coincidence? You decide...

2010-07-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or......

Maybe my eyes are deceiving me, or I'm just seeing what I want to see.

Recently, I noticed random strangers bearing characteristic resemblances facially with people I know. Some even look like a replicate of a friend of mine but something about the stranger enables me to differentiate him/her from my friends, maybe it is the way his/her facial muscles are pulled together....

Is it because we humans as a species, have evolved and developed till a peak level, where people's physical characteristics, especially their faces bears the few similar dominant characters?

Or something more disconnected from reality...
that we are not as special and unique as we think we are? Instead every generation, there is a duplicate of us born into this world, so he/she can walk their own paths, right the wrongs in their past incarnations?

Maybe at a certain time, there is two of the same incarnations present, and both of them are living different lives from each other, making their own choices in life, experiencing their own lives?

After reading this, I trust most of you will be questioning my sanity.... lolXD

凡是有始有终

2010-07-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

尽管我们有时无法控制事情如何开始，但是我们可以控制要如何结束……

七月三日，我们中五学长们挥一挥衣袖，但不是悄悄的走了……

不知我这一年来表现有没有到达老师们、同伴们的要求和期望……

回想起往事，领悟了原来我真的无法控制情绪，还身边的朋友们都被我的无理狂怒受罚……

朋友们，对不起……

黄老师，谢谢您的耐心指导，谢谢你给与我这个机会……

老师和朋友们，谢谢你们让我的中学生涯上了精彩的颜色……

2010-06-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

Today in tuition,

An essay written when the writer was 15 years old has put all the essay I have every written to shame.

In comparison, her standard at that time is already above me.

Heard her eulogy for a renowned someone, written at around the same year. It was touching, full of melodious and colourful words. She had done whomever the person justice in her eulogy....

Which reminds me, time and time again....

QUIT SLACKING AND START WORKING!!!!!

TIME IS RELENTLESS IN ITS CLAIMS ON OUT LIVES!!!

ZIYI!!!TIME YOU BUCK UP, WITH ALL THE LANDSLIDE RESULTS YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING!!!

Before its too late......

2010-06-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

Music in the night,

Reminds me of the days things took flight,

When everything seems so bright,

When my every plight,

Naught.

Now, reality comes knocking,

Inevitable sounds,

voices,

memories,

floods my mind.

5 more months,

Farewell I bid to secondary life,

Farewell I bid to SPM,

All the tears and joys,

All the hopes and regrets,

All the memories,

Treasure it I will,

Forever and always...

XP, sucky attempt to write something.... zzz

My wish for a teacher

2010-06-13T06:05:00.000-07:00

To Mr Bong Joo Ping,
致黄裕斌老师

Tomorrow is your big day！！
明天就是你的大日子了！！

Congratulations!!!
恭喜你们！！

Hope both of you enjoy a great, happy and prosperous life together!!
希望你们永远幸福快乐!!!

May God bless you and your new family!!
希望神保佑你和你的新家庭!!

Lastly, don't forget me and my angpau ya? HahaXD
别忘了我和你要给我的那份红包喔!! 哈哈

2010-06-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

Just realized something,

I think in this world, my blog is the quietest blog ever...

No one ever leaves a comment volunteeringly, they only do so when asked or nudged by me...

Aih... Maybe as Yin Qin might have put it, my blog is lame and all I do is rant and whine about my life unlike, I don't know, his favorite all-girl crew's webpage that features sexy and eye-poping, guy-hormone inducing pictures of them...

Well, how can I compare?

Aih....

2010-06-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer, this is written for my own sake, so I can remember what actually happened during the period when the event I am going to speak of occurred.

For those of you who would think negatively of such a post, please leave now of forever hold your peace. Thank you XD...

Okay, June 29th and 30th 201o, I was called for ASEAN scholarship selection test.

I received the notification a week prior to the event. When I got to know of it, I went to search for information relevant to the selection test and came across a few forums and articles containing advices, true and untrue regarding the test. This is also another reason why I am writing this post now, to clear the truth from the myths, to tell future candidates from such a test about what is real and what is now.

Even so, please bear in mind that what I am writing applies for my year 2010 PRE-U group only, I have no idea what went on for other groups and if they would follow the same format every year.

Day 1, 29th June 2010, we had the maths test and then the English test.

For the maths test, don't bother trying to studying Singapore 'O' levels add maths syllabus because
1) You won't make it in time, trust me, and
2) Their questions encompasses Malaysia's Form 4 and Form 5 Add Maths Syllabus

My advice is to brush up on your Add Maths, and for those who haven't complete the Form 5 Syllabus, try understanding until Probability.

When doing the questions, try to solve the best you can.

English test,

There is nothing you can prepare for this part, except maybe read more English books?

1 and a half hour for comprehension and summary(all subjective) and half an hour to write an essay..

For the essay, i suggest not to waste time to think of what to write but to start writing once the clock start ticking and multitask!! Because you have not enough time to think.

Day one end.

Day 2, 30th June

We had an general ability test.

General ability test is considered the easiest amongst all the three tests. It is somewhat like an IQ test you find online like this one:

http://www.iqtest.dk/main.swf

It involves shapes and progression, how the shape changes....

But remember, the most important thing in all three tests is just Stay calm and don't waste time...

If you are lucky or good enough to pass this stage, you'll be selected for an interview.

As of publication date, I am still awaiting my results (either i pass or not). I don't know what to expect.

Whether I get it or not, its another business, the most important thing for me is the exposure, there I met a few more friends, they are from Malacca, apparently they are from the same school and had traveled all the way to KL to take the test even if they, like us have their mid-term exams. I remember on Sunday, some were holding Biology reference books before the General Ability Test and some were holding Chemistry reference books (Selangor Form 5 students have Chemistry exam the next day). I don't blame them, while their peers have time to stay at home to prepare for three days, they had to rush all the way here for a test.

And guess what, papers were also leaked in Malacca just like in Selangor... HahaXD

Okay, that's all for now... Ziyi signing off...

Hypocrite

2010-06-05T03:26:00.000-07:00

I ain't going to say much but this...

I dare those who would say that they are not hypocrites to voice themselves out... then I might grab a voice recorder and record every single statement you make be it half-heartedly, consciously or otherwise...

In just a span of two weeks, I've encountered countless occasions where people just said something and then do another or say one thing then the next day deny of making such statement and then either slammed the idea of them ever doing it or just flat our justifying what they said as true with utterly ridiculous claims.

I was not upset not am I jealous of people scoring higher marks than me by attaining tips, or better yet the actual answer schemes ( if I ever wanted, I could have gotten it myself). I am upset because I thought you guys were different from those whom I stayed away, from those who would say one thing in front of you then say another behind your back, those who says one thing but does another, those who are just bad liars... I thought you guys were better... but turns out I was wrong...

I just found out that everyone is the same no matter how they try to make themselves stand out, make themselves one of a kind... Everyone would say one thing for their self-interest, and when the time comes do another again, for their self-interest...

When you guys read of this post, I don't mind, say whatever you guys want to, I am open to your comments.... Right me when I am wrong... Correct me of my mistakes... For that I thank you... Curse me and scold me directly to me... For that I humbly accept and am forever grateful... Tell me what you guys truly feel, tell me in my face, I don't mind...

What I can't stand is people talking about me behind my back and hoping that someday I might get what was being whispered about me without my knowledge and one day change for a better... I am no mind reader...

"The truth hurts but a lie is worse"
"To know is better than to be delusional"

2010-06-05T03:21:00.000-07:00

Finally, three weeks of exams is over...

Three weeks of exams might be a torture but when most people enter the second week... Well, it just got sooooo boring that we just can't wait for it to be over... hahaXD

During this holidays, while my friends are err, working part-time, or doing volunteer work, or planning for the next karaoke outing, or moving to a new home, or going for a vacation somewhere, I have nothing in store for me this holidays.

No matter, two weeks of sleeping and letting my brains turn into mush by television shows and computer games seem okay with me.

2010-04-02T21:15:00.000-07:00

What happens when you pour extra water into a cup that is already full of water?

Silly question ain't it, the water will just spill out of the cup.

In conclusion, however redundant it may be, you can't fill a cup that is already full.

So,

next time, read and read well before commenting. After reading, consider the date and time at which the text was posted, then make reference to events that have already occurred. Double check reference and verify the relations between said reference with read text. Then only comment.

Referring to my previous post,

1) However regrettable of my actions, I have already agreed to help up in planning of the activity for an event.

2) Previously, I was busy with sports day and such, that was last week, which have always leave with tired after those events.

3) Saturday and Sunday are the only two free days in between. Deducting hours spent on outing with family and going about usual business, I was only left with only few hours to study.

So, though I am not burdened with responsibilities like my peers, I not that, as I quote, "free to study unlike us".

2010-04-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

"What's wrong?" they asked, concerned.

"I'm sleepy," I answered.

"Why the long face?" they inquired, as a caring friend.

"Nothing, just slept late last night," I shrugged of their inquiry.

The truth is, I don't know what is wrong.

Lack of sleep. Frustration. Anger.

Lack of sleep due to my bad habit of procrastinating work till the very end perhaps, maybe its my inability to manage my time well.

Frustration, my performance is going down the drains, everything occurring to me is a testament to that, my results, performance of those Form 4 prefects we were given the duty to train. Needless to say, my language skills be it English, Malay or Chinese can be summed up with just one phrase, "one step forward two steps back". I haven't been able to properly sit down and purge off all temptation to pick up the guitar to strum a few notes, switch on the computer to sign in Facebook and MSN.... Have to bring myself up...

Anger, since Form 1, I've recognize the monstrosity trapped within me, like a volatile substance that reacts vigorously to tiny stimulation, I get pissed very easily, even by petty little things. Sometime, I just get pissed without any reasons. Since realizing my inner devil, I've worked hard to control it. Apparently not hard enough. Today, I've became a childish 17-year old, I was angered by myself and frustrated by my own dilemma, my own 'tragedy', but I vented them on my friends. I didn't know myself then, and doubt anyone did too.

On another note,

an attempt in creative writing.

The first sign of orange-red light burst out of the horizon, streaks of light mixed with the dark blue night sky, producing a mirage purple colour, gathering awe from souls that took time to notice this rare majestic beauty. Mother nature at its once in a blue moon moments. This is what we saw early this morning.

XP... not that good, but do comment... XD

2010-03-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

Reality check to everyone who bothers to listen...

This world don't give a shit how much effort you put in it, in the end it is the product and your ability that they pay attention to...

Those who can perform don't want to perform (they have the 'tak ape' attitude that just plain pisses me off), those who couldn't want to.. But both want to get to the top... WTH!!!

Real politics...
"The end justifies the means"
Ain't this what is happening in our modern world?

2010-03-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

Something is wrong with me, I'm seeing more and more of the negative end of everything and everyone...

Aiya, don't know lah... Don't care...

Nowadays, instead of whining how busy I am compared to everyone else, I'm can proudly tell you that I am more carefree this year compared to my peers, so much so that I feel quiet guilty about it... XD

2010-03-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

What am I feeling right now?

Feel like hundred of ropes attached to me and pulling me in every direction...

Feel like standing in a cross section with my legs trying to walk all four roads...

Feel like laughing, crying, bursting into anger, falling deep into the canyon of 'emo-ness' all at the same time...

Feel lost...

Don't know what to do...

Damn...

Shouldn't complain... shouldn't whine...

just ignore me while i fall for a while, I'm going to be fine, I always am..

Enjoys the bliss of your own lives...

Just ignore me for now...

2010-03-18T02:40:00.000-07:00

要写什么呢？

不知要写什么。。。

华文考试成绩揭晓了。。总分69。。

我应该感到开心了，还以为这次考试真的死了。。。

paper 1 84分，下了我一跳
paper 2 53分，掉了一颗眼泪。。。

应该开始开轻快铁了，我还有很长的路要走，很短的时间就要走完他。。。

人，因己而存，因己而亡
生活，不求功成名就，就是真正的快乐，就是完美的生活
但是这世界没有东西是完美的，最接近完美的，只有梦想和理想。

就此止子。

2010-03-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

Went to debate...

Put it simply, its like a three days debate crash course...

go there, debate, eat, debate, eat, debate, go home, go there again, debate debate, eat

they are like feeding us to debate... XD

Had never been so stressed and anxious my whole life

But, we came out okay, haha, had fun, I'm Julia really enjoyed it, it's not often you get people who would argue with you XD...

Met old friends, got to know a few new ones...

And found out it's a small world after all...

2010-03-11T03:06:00.000-08:00

I no longer have anything to say.

I'm wrong, you are right.

I'm bad, you are good.

I'm incapable, you are capable.

I'm just a sorry excuse of a reason, you are the reason.

I'm just someone who wants something I can't achieve, you are the achiever......

I've learnt nothing but the structure and the cruel reality of the issue...

Maybe you wanted to teach me more but due to some people desperately trying to share their stories of past war and giving ineffective moral boost(not to say that I don't appreciate it), no or minimal constructive criticism has been given, no or minimal advice have been given...

It's more like, here are the rules and here is how you do it...

Lets roll

I have always believed a team doesn't need a person who are the best amongst them, it just need a group of people who can come together achieve a mutual understanding, have the same aim for mutual growth and be able to support each other at the same level... no one stands out, no one falls behind...

Events today reflects my believe...

All the best to us tomorrow...

2010-03-09T06:14:00.000-08:00

Some people are just pure assholes...

I didn't do anything to you, heck I didn't even interact with you in any way...

but what idiotic part of you probably non-existent mind made you splash water at me?

I can accept if its just little droplet meant to hurt my ego, but no...

YOUR empty void of a mind made you splash my shirt as if I fell into the pool...

And all you did was walk away as if it was the right thing to do and laughed then go back to your group and act as if YOU ARE THE VICTIM just defending yourself while I AM THE PERPETRATOR who made this happen.

=================

A mother talking proudly about her son about her son's achievements...

no

More like a fan talking excitedly about every accomplishment of his/her idol..

yea, maybe

that is how I describe you

(deep breaths).... just releasing some anger.

Okay, so now, exams over, a harsh waking call for the ever closer three alphabet thing...

Haih....

Life just gotten darker.... Maybe it's just me that has gone south, everyone else is just right, i'm wrong....

2010-03-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

歌曲:发如雪
曲:周杰伦词:方文山

狼牙月伊人憔悴
我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回
你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶
你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月
我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
rap:
你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月

狼牙月伊人憔悴
我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回
你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶
你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月
我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
rap:
你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月

你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月
我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野
今生我把酒奉陪
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野
今生我把酒奉陪

真得很好听喔

不知何时起，我的playlist里的每一首歌都各有各的“感觉”。

这“感觉”会令我想起往事，不同的歌不同的往事。

这首歌
对我
代表天真无瑕，与世无争的日子。。。。
多谢马小姐介绍。。。

考试结束了，听听歌轻松轻松一下。。。

2010-02-22T05:16:00.000-08:00

Nowadays, got people sat lun

got people fall in love...

got people in love but don't notice it...

Eh, ask you take on dancing adi lor...

Don't listen... Masih mau piano...

Now, see how....

Dancing that time, your smile, your reaction, your rate of talking...

low high
------------------------------------------------------->

XD

2010-02-22T04:13:00.001-08:00

A speaker has two priorities when he/she is performing.

First, to get the attention of his fellow listeners and retain them.

Secondly, to successfully convey his message to his listeners.

Today's event has reminded me again of how we seem to forget the basic rule when pursuing complex improvements.

This morning, a speech that lasted more than 10 minutes...

很明显每人在听、何况明白他要表达的讯息。

怪罪谁呢？

那主讲者？

还是负责管理次序的学长？

我可以做的只是提醒他们安静，但是一千多位学生，一群安静了，另一群又吵了起来，这一群静了，刚才那一群又闷了、滔滔不绝地聊了起来。也不怪他们，平常人性就是如此。

周会时，重现在开始学长们都把学生们包围着，有某种施压学生的感觉。
包围了又如何？
眼见学生高谈话论，要警告也没办法，他们都在离这既排队，要喊又不对，要一个跨过一个，慢慢跨到他们那边也不对。haih~~~
身旁的同事们如眼见而无视，听而不闻，潇洒的站在那边就站在那边。
也不怪他们啦，现代世界大多数人讲究的是外表，我们如何包装自己，而不是成分。

Exams coming soon, got to go back to studies di~~~
Over and out...

2010-02-08T05:36:00.000-08:00

2 posts in quite a long time...

I've quite lazy and busy nowadays...

Haha, wonder how that happened...

Bm lisan..
Haven't had the ample time to actually sit down and have a sane and proper discussion with my group, wonder why~~~

Exams just around the corner after CNY...
I've practically forgotten most of the things I learned last year...
Gotta quit slacking and start working...

10 more months and this chapter of life is closed..

Which ending will it be?
Well, just as a composer writes a song, our choice from here on out will determine our ending...

2010-02-08T05:27:00.000-08:00

刚刚收音机播一首很熟悉的歌。

“Sempurna”

听这听着。回忆。掀起。

想起去年苦中甜。

去年。学长营。营曲子里就有这首歌。

回想时，觉得当时大家都玩得非常痛快，都很积极，很团结。

经年就不一样了。

是我经年模糊了，被抛在后头了呢？

还是大家都忘了当时的情绪、当时的感觉、当时大家都是一家庭的感觉？

问故知心吧。。。。

2010-01-30T09:02:00.001-08:00

Guilt...

I feel it now...

The guilt of passing my responsibilities to someone else...

The guilt of running away and letting someone else take the hit...

The guilt of not doing what I am suppose to do until it was too late...

...

and....

...

the guilt of reassuring myself that it is okay....

it is not like the world is gonna end if I am like this

.....................................

I wonder when...

Ever since that day, I have been watching everyone of them, trying to understand their ways, their behavior, they thoughts....

I have been watching... Everyone, everything...

But...

I see...

nothing...

My friends can say this person can, this person cannot, this person is responsible, this person strikes them as so and so....

but all i see it, this person is average...

i see nothing...

i understood nothing useful...

all I saw was that they(referring to the first group of people) have the tendency to not follow the norm, they feel excitement when they know they are playing truant, they probably think other people think they are cool and brave, but only one word comes up in my mind "childish" or "immature"....

the second group, i only see "normal", or "dead"....

but I feel that some of them are hiding something, or they don't even know their potential exists, perhaps hidden deep within them from years of neglect, by us and by themselves, but i feel powerless to help them....

guilt...

regret...

2010-01-20T02:53:00.000-08:00

We've heard of the word 'abuse' so many times.

We've seen abuse happen all around us, whether we are aware of it or not. Sometimes we are grown in such an environment that some form of abuse put on use since the beginning has became an 'unwritten rule of living in this world' for us.

Nowadays, I've seen people going on a reform frenzy just because they have the power to do so, be it change for the better or worse, they don't care, all they care is that they themselves are successful and famous amongst the high ranking people. They don't care what we think, they ties us and band us, claiming to be nurturing the next generation of 'capable leaders', but in reality, they are just training us to just accept what is given and never question the norm. Those who rose as 'leaders' in school are mostly those who will listen and follow their orders and never challenge it, not those that will lead everyone to mutual success.

I mourn for future generations, I was one of them, those who have the "keeping quiet is the safest" thought in me and there are still trace amount of them in me.

2010-01-18T04:19:00.000-08:00

下雨时，心感到舒服多了，尤其是倾盆大雨时、雷雨交加时。

在家里的我，听见雨珠敲打屋瓦的滴答声，特别响亮，把四周围时时缠在耳边的杂音、噪音给淹没了，剩下的只有重复、似乎有节奏的滴答声，这是的我，心里的感情海啸与烦恼都随着雨声的节奏，变得非常平静，感到非常的轻松、自在。

更何况，下大雨时和之后，很凉爽。

深呼吸。觉得非常舒爽。

I love it when it rains, especially when it is raining cats and dogs or during a thunderstorm.

The sound of raindrops on the rooftop tiles is very mesmerizing. The heavier the rain the louder it is. When it is loud, it drowns out all the noise of its surroundings, all the daily hectic sounds, which is like a number of songs from different genre play all at once, are drowned up by the sound of raindrops, a song that unites all songs.

In such condition, I feel all the frustration and raging emotions in me disappear, leaving behind peace and serenity. My mind is, no longer like the oceans during the Monsoon seasons, all the raging waves seem to stop, a calm ocean.

The coolness a rainfall usually leave behind adds on to its effect on me.
Cooling, I feel calm.

I know, it is a whole lot of bull but I'm trying to improve my language. So, please bear with me. XD

2010-01-12T05:48:00.000-08:00

I'm losing my sanity day by day.

With Jia Jun sitting behind me and spouting random stuff at random times, most of them senseless garble he finds logical. Though it is illogical, we still find it funny and had a good laugh like some maniacs whose logic falls far from mainstream logic. In other word, we laugh as if we have lost our sanity.

Moreover, he replies by quoting some random videos or games or some random string of words he just come up with last minute even when we are expecting serious answers.

This has become almost like a routine.

Me and Liang who sits in front doing own stuff.

Jia Jun and Kin Yen having an still sane discussion.

Then, suddenly, Jia Jun says some random sh*t like

"You so magic" or "No, that would be your mother" etc etc...

So, yea, four of us ended up laughing like buffoons.

I wonder if I can retain my sanity if this goes on...

2010-01-08T05:29:00.000-08:00

才一个星期, 头就开始晕了.......

2010-01-08T05:24:00.000-08:00

今年不求任何事, 只求中学生活的最后一年没有遗憾.

有可能是我放不下, 还是顶不顺某些人的态度.

今年, 当个观察者就好了~~~

只用双眼看4年以来美多留意的人, 事, 物.

2010-01-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

After disappearing from the world of blogging from a loooong while, the holidays have come to an end and a new chapter in our lives has begun to unfold - the SPM year.

It's amazing how this three alphabets signifying the most important exam that will determine which paths we shall embark on in our future. It's even gratifying when this three syllables strike fear in most of the students, more so their parents, wanting the students to achieve excellently with a big fat line of "A"s on the right side of the result slip, the pressure is on, tensions are high, will we make it?

2009-12-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

Today early morning went to FRIM with family.

We found out that Canopy Walkway is closed when we got there, much to our distress.

So, we just walked the treks there.

It was a very long walk. My sisters were complaining halfway. Heh

There were not that many people there. Just a few visitors but I saw lots of photographers there, traveling in groups, trying to snap a picture of.... just about anything.

After spending around 4 hours there, we went home. Tired.

If life is, as Henyu puts it, like a piano, today can be described as a note with a black key and a white key in this holiday melody we are all playing as we live through it.

It is white because it is a silver lining in the cloud of boring holidays.

It is black because, well... we wasted time going there just to find out that the Canopy Walk is closed on Monday and Friday, just out luck.

Well, that's it for now

2009-12-04T06:46:00.001-08:00

I'm doing the same thing over and over again...

It's sickening...

Holidays just ain't what it used to be....

2009-12-01T15:28:00.000-08:00

Argh....

Bad planning, bad timing...

and

the inability to tell a required lie...

has horrible consequences...

I'm going to be bored off my wits people....

2009-11-30T05:13:00.000-08:00

New strings needs constant tuning because they go out of tune very easily.

Nevertheless, they are new...

2009-11-23T15:51:00.000-08:00

It's kinda late to post about it so I'll do so briefly.

2 days ago, on the 22nd of November, is the day we, a group consisting of 2 ballet dancer, a doctor, a "ah ma", a director, a writer, a PA guy, a narrator, a "guy-who-changes-scenes, and I went to a drama competition in mines. Kin Yen and Jia Jun went with us to watch.

After two weeks prior to the previous pre-match event, we worked hard for two weeks to improve our play.

After two weeks, of mind-numbing, tear-jerking, heart-pounding, leg-snapping rehearsals, we were ready, I guess.

So, two days before that fateful day, mr bong notified us to "appear" in school before 8.30 am and wait at the bus-stop. When I reached the school, Jia Jun and Ching Fong are already there. Some came as early as me, others came soon afterward.

When everyone is present, we were on our way to the Mines without further ado. I went with the van with 9 other friends, while the other two went there by mr bong's car.

When we got there, we had free breakfast, curtsy by mr bong.

After breakfast, we got our numbers, fooled around, made final preparations.

As for me, I had to change my hairstyle for my character, so my friends helped me with it. We had a few laughs in the process.

When we are ready, we went into this book fair. The drama competition is held at one of the stages found in the book fair. We watched the primary students show off their acting skills and cuteness, especially cuteness while waiting for our turn.

Then, the time came for us to go on stage.

(12 minutes or so later)

After so much hardwork, we are done.

We watched the other two secondary groups present their mind-numbing, jaw-dropping, neck-breaking(oops).... sorry.... forget neck-breaking.... play...

Then the judges went to discuss about the results while the MC for the day tried her best to buy time for the judges.

They(the judges) took longer than expected, the poor MC had to squeeze out a few topics to talk about, which she did, about herself and so on and so forth...

Then came the results... The secondary group which, in my opinion did the best to my surprise, got third place... And we got first!!! And as much as I don't want to mention this, my sissy character got me the best male actor award... =.=... not so proud about it though...

Then, we had our lunch in Pizza Hut, treat from mr bong. That is when my friends gave me a present. It was a guitar tuner.

THANKS GUYS!!! REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!

After lunch, as we were waiting for the ladies to settle their business in the loo. My friend did a "social experiment", it is to prove that majority of the humans cannot ignore an advertisement with people posing around it. So, they posed around the board we used to change scenes in our play just now and... oh-behold, people start turning our way. Some even read out the words written on it....

The ladies came out, we went home. Tsen Vei and I followed mr bong's car while the others followed the van. While we(tsen ven, mr bong and I) were chatting in the car, my friends were, as I just found out having fun smiling and waving at passing cars, and singing.

Mr bong dropped me off on the way back to school.

==========================End of 22nd Nov============================

Today... Erm... Nothing much to say but.... I noticed something interesting posted at Jia Jun's blog... But i'm so sure if it's true................ Could it be??? Heh

2009-11-18T04:54:00.000-08:00

最近我整天都累！！

戏剧，大家对我演得sissy leng 有更高的要求，好像非把握变成真正的阿瓜才肯罢休。

哎，今天还特别向三位“专家”请教了一些经典阿gua的言行举止，也听了三位老师的建议，他们的建议我已经听朋友说过了好几次了：穿紧身衣，啊！！！

今天排练时，时而忘词，时而忘肢体动作。。。。。。哈哈

回到家，冲凉，吃午餐，感觉累了，睡觉。。。。。。

睡得很甜蜜时，突然间手提电话铃声响。。。。。。

接电话，伟恺在电话的另一端。。。

“等下五点二十分那样来接你”

啊！！忘了，等下有个讲座会，我立刻起床，要想爸爸获得允许参加讲座会。。。

但是。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。

他在讲电话。。。。。。。

没关系，我等~~

等了半个小时，他还在讲电话。。。。。。

听起来，他会讲很久的~~

因此，我发了短训给伟恺，说我不能去了。。。

5点半，他终于讲完了，我立刻问了他，得到了允许。。。

连忙不拨个电话给伟恺，问问 mr. bong 可以来在我吗？

哪知道。。。。

他们已经在搭轻快铁了。。。

恺叫我在ampang车站等他们。。。

这种东西，我父亲是不会允许的。。。

最后没得去了。。。。

2009-11-12T04:40:00.000-08:00

Self confidence?
or is it pride?
Perhaps snobbish?

2009-11-12T04:29:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to make of recent events...

Some people are just hard to comprehend...

I know this person who has lots to say...
but when ever he says something...
and when his sentence reach its climax...
or its most important part of his speech..
and everyone is paying close attention..
...
...
he just stops halfway and says....
"Nothing~~~"

What the hell man...
People want to understand you, you know...
but the only thing stopping us from knowing what is going on in your mind is your tendency to do such a thing...

"I am strong"...
"You don't deserve emotions if you can't control it"....

Such words are useless!!!

It is a great way to show a tough, hard, visually impenetrable exo-shell to protech yourself...

Stop saying one thing and doing another!!!

Stop taking things that don't belong to you!!!

I'm getting sick of this...

2009-11-09T03:16:00.000-08:00

It's pitch black. Darkness has grabbed me and it is not going to let me go.

My mind is still at full throttle, but somehow, someway, I am still calm.

Slowly, I'm losing senses. Numb. Floating, yes.... feels like I'm floating on air. I don't feel down to Earth. My mind and soul is disconnected from my body.

But, faintly, I feel my body, I can breathe, I am suffocating. Nobody is choking me, but my lungs just seem to lost it's function. It is no longer inhaling air. Slowly, I felt the faint Earthly sensation creep into my existence.

Has my time come?

No!!!

My mind fought the thought with all its might. I forced myself to breathe. Again and again. Finally, I opened my mouth to draw in a big gulp of air.

Ah~Salvation...

I'm back....

Then, in just a few minutes, my mind and soul drifts away again. This time, the disconnection between my existence and my body is greater than before. I couldn't breathe once more. I struggled. Breathe!!!

Not working!! Open your mouth!!! Breathe!!! Hurry up!! Time is running out!!

I tried and tried, its not working. All seems to be lost!!!

My time has finally come? Am I close to the end?

If so where is the bright light people talk about when we come to the end of our journey? Where is the judge who decides where you go from there on?

Suddenly, I can breathe again!!

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale...

I'm alive. I'm still living. Still breathing.

I'm not gone yet...

I reassured myself....

Then, slowly, my mind drifted away. This time peacefully. Resting. I finally slept... on my bed... With interesting dreams and hopes of a better tomorrow...

This incident is not its first... It happened to me before... When I'm falling asleep... Sometimes even halfway through my sleep... What is this incident? Why did it happen? Why me?

Could it be a near death experience? Or just a simple, my body is too tired so it goes into sleep mode faster than my mind, therefore my breathing rate slows down considerably that my mind registers it as oxygen depletion and warns me about its assumed danger?

Why? Is God trying to tell me something? Is it reminding me to treasure life, and make full use of it, that my time, just as the time for all beings on Earth is limited and never repeating?

God knows.....

2009-11-08T06:07:00.000-08:00

今天，十位百沙罗万达镇的学生和一位对“你的头”这一句话有反感的老师到吉隆坡某某街上的drama cafe, 参加了一项戏剧观摩赛。

我是那十位之一。

在11时30分，大家在学校停车场集合、出发。

到了目的地，吃了午餐，到台上rehearse一下，观摩赛就开始了。

我们是第一组，道具、音响准备妥当了，showtime!!

那时的我，有点紧张。

第一幕，没我的角色的出现。我从“后台”观看。

第二幕，我出场了，还以为是我大显身手的机会，哪知道，一时紧张，忘了变“娘”。
回想起，上台时还记得，一道对白就忘了一干二净，那时的我只有5成“娘”。

第三幕、第四幕。。。就这样转眼间来到了结局。

鞠躬，听了评判们的金玉良言，就此松了一口气。

接下来，到另外两组呈现他们的戏剧。他们很有创意。第三组最逊色了，演员们行动自如，应该在戏剧表演有不少的经验了吧。。。

成绩揭晓。。。。。。。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

三组都经决赛。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

嗨。。。看来以后我演的这个角色会留下不少的阴影。。。。

离开前，第三组的组员来个“装认识”，和我们一起闹了一下。我们导演最有人缘的了，竟然有一位女生要他电话，说要认识他。。。呵呵。。。

参加类是这样的比赛，遇到的人都是会开放一点的。还记得年头时我参加的英文public speaking比赛时，交了不少朋友，即使只有一天，我们在以前谈天说地是，就好像我们已经彼此认识了很久的老朋友一样，有说有笑。。。。

2009-11-07T06:48:00.000-08:00

It's show time...

Tomorrow, at 1130 hours.

It all begins.

2009-10-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

Remember once upon a time when I blogged about a popular linux operating system, Ubuntu?

Well, I'm planning to use it again. This time as a portable operating system as a failsafe. In case any computer fails, be it the operating system or the hard drive, I still can use the computer.

Currently downloading ubuntu 9.10. Very de slow le...

Oh yea, Liang, i found the scores for fragrant rice ^.^

Pool Bash

2009-10-30T08:26:00.000-07:00

In school, spent most of my time in the Media room with some other friends. We're discussing about a chinese play that is going to happen next Sunday somewhere.

It was, madly creative...

And funny, eventhough I'm the one who is being laughed at... zzz

Then after school, after a few minutes of deliberation, I finally decided to go to kin yen's birthday party. I was not suppose to go at first, my dad did not allow me to do so. But I went anyways.

It was normal at first... People gather to eat, crack a few jokes.

Then, kin yen in the pool!! All hell broke loose. People got thrown in the pool, people got who wanted to push found themselves flung into the pool instead. It went on for hours, then two balls came into the game. People got smacked in the face, people got bounced on their heads.

*Thunder*

We left the pool and dried ourselves, got a change of clothes the went up.

Cakes. Song. Blow candle. Cake

Some gossiped, some watched scenery, some playing Kin Yen's piano.

Then go home.

Heh. It was spectacularly humongously bombastic. No regrets man

2009-10-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

Going portable.

Ever since my computer broke down, I have been searching far and wide in the net for a solution.

After 3 hours of relentless digging in the network of bits and bytes, I stumbled upon an interesting term, portable. Before yesterday, I had never known there existed such a concept for softwares, considering the need for almost every software to register itself to the host computer.

Portable softwares are defined as softwares that leaves relatively zero footprints on the host computer during and after use. Which means, most of the portable softwares does not create any registry key on the host computer as they did not need any of those, or the software creates the required registry keys when used and deletes them automatically after use, thus leaving nothing in the host computer.

There is also a portable operating system. It can be installed on a portable drive like a thumb drive, memory card or hard drive and the operating system can be run on any computer just by plugging the drive in and setting the BIOS to boot from removable drives. But most of such operating system are linux based, no Windows as far as I know.

2009-10-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

2009-10-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

Have been going out the past few day.

Friday, went to Bukit Kiara with Bong and Wei Khai. Got laughed at and laughed back at them.

Saturday, went shopping for some stuff and for the food for Sunday's event in 1U. It's been a while since I'd been there.

Sunday, went to Ning's house for a barbecue night. Ate, played, fooled around, ate, and watched tv with friends. Was fun.

Monday, went to play badminton with Bong, Wei Khai, Liang, Ming Bun and Tsen Vei. Hand pain. Went to Bong's apartment also.

Today, stayed at home with muscle pain and finger pain.......

And, i think my current computer won't last any longer. It's not the hard drive nor the graphic card or the motherboard. Everything is just fine except for the stupid power plug. Something is wrong with the plug (the hole you plug the ac plug in... something is wrong with it). Which means, if it goes on to deteriorate, this computer will run on battery, then it would be it's final 30 minutes or so....

*Sob... I kinda like this com...

2009-10-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

Love Story~~~~

2009-09-27T00:36:00.000-07:00

万事都有一样的原则。

吃东西，若一直都在吃着一样的食物，慢慢的就会觉得腻，久了甚至可吃出病来。

玩电子游戏，玩久了就会觉得不好玩、没兴趣了，在硬着头皮玩下去，会玩出病来，脑子有病或身体病了。

读书也是如此，在10天假期里一直在读着书，越读越觉得没有意义。

背这些来干嘛？考试会出，这个原因足够说服我花时间背这些根本就是废话？为了在考试中获得一个8字头？岂有此理？

这次假期，为了应付考试，我简直变了“书虫”，成天像在温室里的花朵，躲在家里徘徊在课本与参考书的世界里。。。

今天有机会出门和朋友弹吉他，却拒绝了。。。。

却在家里背着chemistry formulae。头疼 >.<

好惭愧。。。

最近觉得现代的教育、考试不是从错误中学会，而是一发就一定要中目标。

简直彻底偏离了学习的真正意义。

2009-09-25T03:41:00.000-07:00

Explode!!

Abdomen pain... Ouch...

Explode!!

2009-09-24T07:42:00.001-07:00

This morning was annoying!!!

Don't know why, of all houses in the area, the cat couple chose my house!!!

They were growling, and growling... lovey dovey...

At first I thought they would stop, so I slept on...

But they didn't and they became louder...

Weow~~Meow~~~MeWeow~~~

Ish!!! What a way to wake up. And its 6.52 a.m.!!!

Tiny update

2009-09-24T03:03:00.001-07:00

Update

2009-09-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

On another note...

Behind schedule

Time is running out

Time to pick up pace?

Health or results?

End-term, decide wisely ziyi...

2009-09-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

I was given a choice this morning, to go or to stay.

To go is to have fun, enjoy...

To stay is to prepare for the future...

I chose on the later. I stayed.

When I told you my dad didn't let me go, I wasn't being truthful.

It's true that considering the factors weighed against me, my dad wouldn't even think of letting me go, but my dad didn't hear a word of this meeting, I made my own choice. Sorry.

So, as said earlier, instead of going out with friends, I studied. Wise decision? I don't know.

I couldn't fully concentrate and my mind is thinking of more than one things at once. Feels like going in every direction. Argh. It hurts.

How would it turn out if I insisted to go and went? Would it be different? How does it impact my future? Who know?

2009-09-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

~~To kiss and tell
~~It's just not my style
~~But the night is young
~~And it's been awhile

Whir~

~~And she broke my heart
~~Broke it right in two
~~And it's fixing time
~~But I'm feeling like I'm finally ready to
~~Find, find somebody new

Whir~Whir~

~~I wanna kiss a girl
~~I wanna hold her tight
~~And maybe make a little magic in the moonlight

Whirrrrr

Plop~

It just dies off, just like that...

I was listening to Kiss A Girl by Keith Urban when the com just blanked out.

And, the com cannot start anymore...zzz...

Something to do with the AC Adapter..

Well, that means no more com for the rest of the holidays... T.T

(Using dad's laptop now)

2009-09-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

人生是如此，为了要的东西，付出一切，就算想要的报复不一定会使我们的，但是还是握着坚强的信念，先前走。

相信能，就能。

~There can be miracles~~~
~When you believe~~
~Though hope is frail~
~It's hard to kill~~

今天先无聊，又没心情好好读书，写了一些废话。。。

哈哈~~
这次考试有戏好看了~~
就要像耀祖，没翻一面，吗一句臭话...
哈哈~~

2009-09-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

今天吉他班后，等着爸爸来接我时，到大众书籍翻几本书。

就在这时遇到一本有趣的书，忘了书名是什么，但内容还在脑里。

那本书是以基督教bible里的段落叙述人生道理。

其中, daughter of CEO of a company reflects the CEO himself. The workers there haven't seen the CEO, but they see his daughter all the time. The daughter is portrayed in 2 ways.

First, the daughter is a bossy, selfish and ignorant person, she asks the guard there to buy a box of doughnut for her. By doing so would mean the guard has to abandon his post and leave the office in peril, but what choice does the guard has, it's the boss's order. She also orders a clerk who is carrying a pile of important documents that must be delivered to the meeting room before the meeting starts to clean her room straight away.

Even though she didn't use her father's name, she doesn't have to. She is his daughter, so people would think it as the CEO's daughter. As a result, they would think badly of the CEO, though they have never met him. They imagined him the same way they see his daughter.

On other situation, the daughter is a caring person. She buys a box of doughnut for the guard, saying "I've seen you very early in the morning, have you got breakfast yet?". When she say the clerk carrying a pile of documents rushing to the meeting room, she asks,"Can I help you with that?". Her actions of generosity makes people think highly of her and though she has never said anything about her father, the CEO. "My father says..." People would still think highly of her father, naturally.

We live to elevate the name of GOD.... (Something like that)

这是哪本书里的一段故事，读了之后觉得很有意义。

我应该开始担心了。

考试即将来临，考卷就在门前敲门了。

但是，我还没心情好好读书。

今天，读着历史，什么都没进脑里，感觉好像记得了，但是要想起时，脑子一片空白，要我怎么上考场？

还有physics, chemistry, biology... add maths 也要复习了...

没有stress,只有累或懒。。。

另外，今天，我家来了一位客人，使我母亲朋友的女儿，大学生，现在放假，暂时住在我们家。

我们（我和我的妹妹）和她没有话题好谈，好尴尬。。。

黄老师说得对，我这种人就如冰山。。。

冷到。。。。。

2009-09-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Found this song from Allyssa's blog.

Very nice.

Who stole my Cheeze?

2009-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

It's a book.

It tells of four characters who live in a maze. Two mice and Two mini-humans(forgot their actual term).

These four characters embarks on a journey into the maze everyday to find cheese. One day, they found this room full of cheese.

Since then, their lives were much easier as they lived of the stockpile of cheese they found.

But as days when by, the humans got so used to seeing cheese in the room, they didn't notice the stockpile is depleting day after day. The mice on the other hand noticed it and were prepared.

When the day came and the cheese in the room was all gone, the mice, prepared as they were, took immediate action, they went of searching for new cheese in the maze.

While the humans, where overwhelmed by the change. Both of them couldn't accept the change and naively believed that the cheese would return to them if they just wait for it.

While the humans waited, the mice was in the maze, looking for new cheese in the unknown. Mice have low IQ, instead, one of them depend on trial and error, stumbling into empty corners, returning to where they came from and try again. Another one, depend on his acute sense of smell, sniffing the direction and walking towards it.

After waiting for a while but to no avail, they realized at last that the cheese is gone and never going to reappear. One of them suggested going home and bring their tools to break the walls of the room, hoping to find cheese behind the wall. They did so. The hole on the wall got bigger, but behind it, is pitch-black, empty. They realized that there is a difference between action and productivity.

One of them, let's call his Hem saw the need to change, the unknown maze doesn't look so bad after all. He can picture himself running around the maze, looking for new cheese. Even so, he has a tinge of fear in him, the fear of something unsure.

While the other was hard headed, he still believed naively that the cheese would reappear if he just wait.

Hem, moved on. At first he was very afraid. Then as he moved on, he felt empowered, he felt better and hopeful. Even though he didn't know where is he heading, he knows where he will end up, a better place. In the end, he found a new room full of cheese.

While his other companion.... well, i didn't get to the end of the story, but i think he finally realized the vanity of just sitting there and hoping for things that has changed to return to normal.

The story is mainly talking about change, change is absolute, there is nothing that is there forever, only change will always be there. It discuss of how people normally react to change.

There are four different characters who respond to change differently, which character reflects you?

2009-09-13T01:24:00.000-07:00

I got a feeling... ooooh...

That tonight is gonna be a long night,
tonight is gonna be a long long night~~~

Exams coming soon, have to start pulling all-nighters...

Critical angle. Titration. Capture, release and recapture method. Renaissance.
The list goes on and on...

Plus, I still have to work on my language. Haiz. Months of slacking here has caused great degradation...

And, moreover, I have to dump all the moral values and definitions plus keywords by tomorrow... just to be forgotten by next week and re-memorized again before the exam and forgotten, and re-memorized... again and again and again until SPM....

2009-09-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today, class felt empty. Did a few worksheets during Physics. Then went out to get some cert and voucher during BM. After that, went out again during BI to "oversee" the new prefects taking measurements for their blazer. After recess, Pn Er, as usual...

After school, I went out for a while and figured that since my transporter is only coming at around 1.30, and the time then was 12.40, might as well, go in and join Sean and Aida. They are choosing songs for a performance. Saw Sean, Aida, Li Synn with Sean's guitar at Arena Koko and spent time listening to music with them.

So, that is all la~~~

2009-09-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Jia Jun.

Hope you enjoy your cake and your sweet sixteen...

Keep on..............................

being you.......

2009-09-05T02:46:00.000-07:00

今天又收到一位朋友的短讯。

短讯写着，“你还好吗？昨天看到你的脸色好像有什么事。”

我最近怎么了？每一次都给别人在脸色上看出我自己都不知觉得表情。是不是我自作多情？还是我有心事，但是自己不自觉。。。。

2009-09-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

I'm growing old, getting forgetful, getting blur...

Today damn forgetful man...

Yesterday I borrowed the key to diciplince room and forgot to return it. I was reminded about it this morning but THE KEY CANNOT BE FOUND. Fortunately for me Pn Tan took it with her when she left the room, so I am safe for now, but it kept me thinking for a while about things that might happened if that didn't happen. If Pn Tan didn't take it with her, if it's still in the room, everything is fine; but what if someone else took it? Someone who is not suppose to? The room will be gone... Everyone will lose everything...

Then how can I forgot SimSun font for chinese in Microsoft Word is something like songti 宋体(a type of font) and my chinese project required kaiti 楷体(another font). How could I be so blur to not notice or remember? So, now I'm paying the price, frantically looking for the font online, it doesn't come along with windows you see.

I wonder how long will I continue pulling all-nighters man.

Yay!!! The font just finished downloading, gotta go finish it now.. Till then

2009-08-31T02:26:00.001-07:00

It's coming to an end, the holidays...

The calm before the storm....

Picnic Party

2009-08-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Celebrated Esther's birthday on Thursday, sorry for the delayed post.

Since others have posted about it I'll be short.

Arrived a TTDI park at 8.00am.

Most of my friends are there already.

We were told to hide and surprise the birthday girl when she comes, so..

Get In Position!!!

We are all squatting behind bushes, earning curious and weird looks from other people in the park.

She came, we ran out, she very de blur, surprised her, she is still blur, everyone taking photo of her expression, she is still blur, then only she awaken.

Took our stuff, went to a spot, dropped our stuff, ate "small cake" made by Alliyza. Very nice.

Then stone, fool around

Play games, like station games, feels just like prefect camp all over again, only now, I'm one of the victim who runs around doing tasks, some of them weird ones.

Then went back to the spot, sat down. Liang took out jams, 2 loaves of bread, 2 boxes of margarine etc... etc... from his Doraemon's pocket. Wee Nie took out her jelly/pudding. And others took out their prepared food, sorry, I can't remember.

We ate and ate. Liang ate mega sized servings, mixing everything with bread. Heh.

Then I went home with Natasha and Xiao Ning, seeing it is with Ning's generosity that I am able to attend such special event, it is also with her kind heart that I am able to return home after such one-of-a-kind celebration.

Will upload photos when I can. Later